Monday, April 5, 2010

We had a lovely Easter and hope you did, too. Don't I look pleased and sly for finding the best Easter basket at the hunt?

I thought these paper dogwoods were just lovely! I don't really know what I'd do with them...but perhaps I could make miniature versions and use them in mini-theatres. If you'd like to have Martha (yes-that's-Martha-as-in-Stewart) show you how to make them, click on the image and the tutorial will show you the way!

Which was the most widely held mistaken idea? That midi-skirts were stylish and attractive or that Rock Hudson was straight?

Okay, I know this is mean - but I have this overwhelming urge to throw a dart at her and win a stuffed puppy dog like at one of those state fair booths. I can't help it.

I am so glad I found this album. I had no idea where to find the best waltzes to accompany my ice skating routines ... or just to sit around and listen to on a chilly Spring evening.

If those horrid gift packs of bad toiletries at Walmart were as lovely as this Melba Weekend Package, I would have all my gift dilemmas solved for an entire year. I would give this to everybody! I bet not one would re-gift it!

To be fair, they were labeled panties and not underwear, so I can see how somebody might not be able to figure out the step by step process.

... I knew I should learn how to knit ...

Is this photograph awesome and astounding or what?! I have never seen such clarity - and magic! - in a nature photo. It is titled "Drops of Spring" and is from Stevetookit's Photostream. I found it at In the Light of the Moon.

Let's face it - unless you have 100 people following you while trying to escape from Cruella de Ville, this is better left in the closet.

I have always loved award-winning chickens - they're always so exotic and magical looking. But I've never seen them actually crowned before! I think it's a grand idea!
photos via Peter Lippman

Isn't this the most gorgeous staircase - and photo?! Titled House of Curves, photographed by Michael Garbutt. You can see more of his work by clicking here.

You have angered the queen of the small island nation of Clashistan. Any fool knows better than to park his motorcycle alongside her throne. Really.

"Not only is my monkey fur fantabulous, I will bet you ten dollars and a champagne cocktail that I can walk down an entire flight of stairs while balancing an encyclopedia on my head."

And one final Easter treat until next year ...

Well, I was certainly in a less-than-serious mood today. I promise my next post will have more beautiful things to look at ... might even be (for a limited time only) a judgment-free zone. Naaaaah. Who am I kidding? Gotta get my snark on! Thanks for spending some time with me - I hope you found something to amuse and entertain!

Now go make something beautiful!
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*´¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´♥ Tristan


Sharon in Chicago said...

Careful w that dart--it might burst the balloon which would then go flying all round the room!

Kathleen Sigg said...

I love to laugh and I especially love to laugh at the ridiculous things people wear. Thanks for posting the best!

Susan said...


this was IT! the blog post of the week!

I used to wear midi's and L'eggs pantyhose, LOL! (and we owned a few "crowned chickens"...without the extra crowns though LOL.

I was shocked to find out Rock Hudson was gay...sorry-- but to me that is a waste of hunky deliciousness! I was soooo much younger than him, but boy did I have a crush!

NOW for the main question of this wonderful post....drumroll...

Is that first picture really you and your siblings?

Thanks for a wonderful big shit-eatin'-grin, and some belly laughs, Tristan!!

ps...PLEASE turn off word verification it is a PITA!

Susan said...

PS...I agree on the dart thing...I hate women with way too many youngest has 9, they are all inconspicuous, and I have told her no more...she says there will be at least 3 more...she has a memorial cross on her lower leg for my Dad, her Pop-Pop. so she says there will be one for Nana, and one for her dad and I. we'll see.

The young man across the street's new bride has a full sleeve, and she wore a strapless wedding gown...oh to me, it looked sooo trashy. sorry just my opinion.


Angelsdoor * Penny said...

A crowned chicken.. Fabulous !
Great post.
warm regards,

Anne Huskey-Lockard said...

Did you have an extra helping of the Snark Cereal today, because this is hilarious!
I can't pick a favorite, although those midi-dresses scared the HELL out of me. (as in: I remember when they were in style, I remember wearing them.....ACK)
The last photo must have been two rejects from auditioning for John Water's "Hairspray"......their hair just wasn't BIG enough!

Anne....laughing out of the chair....
Oh---vert word "PLOOK"...that has to fit into this post somewhere! :D

Marsha @ Tattered Chick said...

LMAO, this is hillarious!!! I've seen a couple of these people walking around town here!!

Boy that takes me back, Leggs!!! I wish now I had kept those containers!!!!

Have a fab day!!


Createology said...

You have the most award winning snark and I love it! What a great way to begin a week...laughing at the ridiculous and beyond. Happy snarking...

julietk said...

I hope you had a great Easter.
Fun post :-)

Lisa Oceandreamer Swifka said...

This is precisely what I adore about you...your ability to amuse and entertain! You find THE most fabulous photos and it is your commentary that makes me want more!!! Don't ever stop the snark!(say THAT 3 times fast)

peggy gatto said...

Yes, I bought the colored l'eggs!!!
the chicken is divine, almost as elegant as the last lady...
or is the lady almost as elegant as the chicken????
You are a nut!

jaz@octoberfarm said...

omg...too funny!!! no package yet?

Tamerie Shriver Halliday said...

Love the picture of you with your Easter basket! What a cute little boy you were! And the picture of the blade of grass (?) with the water on it is just amazing. I sure couldn't get a shot like that with my camera. And as usual, you come up with the most interesting assortment of photos! Keeps us all laughing!


Kaerie Faerie said...

thanks for making me smile,
had a sad Easter, my big fluffy tiger went to sleep in kitty heaven, she is now in the yard among the faeries and birds
remembering beauty today not making anything beautiful today!
your sad fairy friend

Anonymous said...

People shouldn't wear abbreviated clothing when they have a big bay-window or big-back-porch!! ROFLMAO!!
Last pic.....2 really gross looking hookers???!!!????
Love the post....Love You ! !

In the Light of the Moon said...

I always love spending time here Tristan!!!I just love the paper dogwoods..will have to check it out.The drop image is stunning and the same photographer had multiple drop images and they were all wonderful!!Have a wonderful day.. Wonderful You!!!Warmest Regards,Cat

Castles Crowns and Cottages said...

I love you. YOU ARE A HOOT!!! I want one of those crowned chickens and THAT QUEEN THAT SOMEONE TICKED OFF....OMG I was laughing so loud...


Bisous, Anita

Sea Witch said...

OMG, I secretly want to throw darts are people on occasion too. We must have been camp followers in another lifetime. My mom was crazy over winning chickens. When we moved to Minnesota from New Jersey (yea, that is an hour on the couch alone) we headed off the state fair. As we walked through the chicken paviollion my mom began to cluck like a chicken in heat (do chickens get in heat???) that set off every hen and rooster in the buiilding and it was noise and wild feathers flying everywhere. At twelve, I thought my mother was brilliant and gifted all at the same time as she could make chickens lose their minds. Sea witch

phoebe said...

Where have you been all my life?

Just found your oh-so-fabulous blog (clicking avatars from Artful Paper Doll), and got a big dose of funny today, thanks to you.

I absolutely love dorky old LP covers, so the 'skate music' pic is my favorite, but it was hard to choose what made me laff the most. Your running commentary makes the pics even more hilarious. =D

ImagiMeri said...

Hi Tristan,

I swear you must be the ONE behind those Walmart funnies that get spammed everywhere. One of my daughters keeps trying to get some of those kinds of images at our local Walmart, unfortunately for her, we live in an area that seems to be "properly clothed" even when shopping at Wallyworld.


BellaRosa said...

LOL Tristan amor, thank you so much for that was much needed :) Hope you had a lovely Easter! Besos, Rose

Debby said...

You have done it again, my friend. Love the easter basket gig and the chickens are fabulous!
Happy Monday!

Sue said...

Tristan, definitely keep the SNARK! Snark is healthy - puts hair on your chest and lowers blood pressure. (you be one healthy guy LOL)

"... I knew I should learn how to knit ..."

And I wish I hadn't sold my original copy of this pattern several years ago or it would be on it's way to you.

Great post Tristan.....keep 'em coming.



Valarie said... it all today. Thanks for making me smile. Please keep being snarky....I love it. hehe
xxoo Valarie

Terri said...

Tristan, you made me laugh out loud! I love coming to your site, and since laughter is the best medicine, I consider coming here an act of self love!!!
Hugs to you : )

Thank you

Unknown said...

Tristan, sometimes I chuckle, sometimes I smile, but tonight I was laughing so hard at your post. Especially when you said "Let's face it - unless you have 100 people following you while trying to escape from Cruella de Ville, this is better left in the closet." You are so funny, and I just adore your sense of humor. Thanks for all the laughs. Glad you had a fun Easter.


The Joy of Nesting said...

Hellooooo Kiddo!!

I hope you had a nice traditional Easter Sunday filled with huge hollow, pink candy eyed, chocolate easter bunnies Jelly beans that turned your hands and tongue all sorts of rainbow colors. Yellow peeps, dyed eggs with your name drawn in clear crayon your white church shirt with a huge chocolate drool mark, grass stained knees clip on tie with egg yoke stain stuffed in your pants pocket. And finishing off the fun filled day laying on the living room floor in your Roy Roger jammies watching The Ten Commandments!! :)

Pattie ;)
Mazatlan Mx.

Craftymoose Crafts said...

You always keep me smiling! Great sense of humor or should I say Snark!

Glennis said...

Keep the snark rolling!! I love the big hair at the end.

That second chicken - what a pattern its feathers make! I want!

"Drops of Spring" is also fabulous.

Pictures of Wal-Mart make me feel uncomfortable - i always wonder whether someone's following ME around with a camera!

Cape Cod Rambling Rose said...

I think we still have some of those old plastic L'Eggs containers hanging around - lol!

Your cherry blossom festival looks wonderful! Thank you for the link. I see they'll have Indian food and Italian ice there (two of my favorites!)... ooooh if we only lived closer to CT!

a fanciful twist said...

Mister Fabuloso, you are soooooooo funnnnny!!! Oh my goodness, Mister Lovee has to read this! You and him, I dare say, same sense of humour ;)

Can I come visit, can I, can I??? It would be a blast!

Warmest ~ V

Trouvais said... wonderful..all the memories...all the horror! Xo Trish
PS re: glass domes..Pottery Barn next month probably!

Frieda Oxenham said...

What a great blogpost. And such a laugh too. The chickens were particularly close to my heart, so gorgeous!

Shell said...

You always find the best pics! A fun Easter post.

Maggi said...

That Drops of Spring is amazing! Fabulous as always!

Sandy aka Doris the Great said...

I've just found you! And I love your blog. Lots of laughs -- just what I needed.

Anonymous said...

OMG I can't stop laughing, you silly boy you!

DVArtist said...

You are probably the most wonderful blogger I know. You always bring joy and delight to my life.
Happy day to you Tristian.

Linda K. said...

Love your sense of humor, Tristan.
Oh My! This was the best. Have a good week.


HeARTworks said...

Thanks for taking me along for the ride!

shabbyfufu said...

Always amusing and a great way to start a not too serious day! ~xo~ Janet

Unknown said...

I think one of the reasons this girl with the curl likes your blog so much is I love the word "horrid". We can get away with so much if we just accept, some stuff in life is just "horrid", like my curls some days. Hey, you might like my post today...the Troll Under the Bridge. You have not lived, until you see it!

Charmingdesigns said...

I got a huge chuckle over Patties comment! What fun photos, thanks for sharing the humor.

ceecee said...

I've always wanted to raise chickens like these, but I'm sure I never will. I think all creatures should wear crowns. Can you just imagine?


jaz@octoberfarm said...

me too on the face in the dirt least as far as i can remember! haha!

Judy said...

The House of Curves pictures reminds me of MC Escher drawings. Enough to make your head spin.

sherri@lavenderfields said...

I can't stop laughing at that picture of the kids and their Easter baskets! And then I wonder where are they now?? And then I feel a little bit disturbed!!
Can you imagine having to get up every day of your life and have that oldest one as your boss?? He's out there somewhere!! Thanks for the laugh! Sherri : )

Deborah said...

OMG my stomach hurts from laughing so much! On another happy note, I can skip the sit ups today. I can't pick a favorite. You are just too clever, Mr. Tristan. Pure delight! **blows kisses** Deb