Americans and Their Abusive Relationship

I know, I know, I know ... it's very bad form to post political opinions on an arts and travel and unique special interests blog like this one. And I haven't in over a decade, so I am pretty good. But, we are in a most unusual time in our nation - in the world! - and I read this very short essay by the marvelous John Pavlovitz today. It articulates exactly how I feel about this issue right down to the last comma and period. So, I'm going to post it in its entirety here. I hope you read it, and take from it what you will. 

Americans Need To Get Out of This Abusive Relationship

August 12, 2020 / John Pavlovitz

 

Photo: Fresco/Getty

It’s heartbreaking to see someone you love in a toxic relationship: watching them be continually torn down and berated, treated with complete disregard, humiliated publicly over and over again—and knowing that despite how much damage has been inflicted, they will likely stay with their abuser, to their own detriment. 

There is a unique kind of helplessness when a human being is so blinded by their past hopes about what the other person would become, that they can’t see what they actually are presently; when they are so consumed with the story they’ve told themselves about the heart of their partner, that no amount of evidence to the contrary will be enough to convince them otherwise. 

They will be lied to and gaslit and injured—and still they will fiercely defend the object of their misplaced affections; perhaps because they do not see their own worth and imagine they will not find better, or because fear has paralyzed them into inaction, or because living this way for so long has left them unable to see another possibility.

When they are confronted by the efforts of well-meaning people, they will deny and rationalize and even lash out at the very suggestion that they are being manipulated, rather than face the possibility that they have been fooled by someone they misjudged and trusted. It is exhausting to try and help them extricate themselves from their own hearts, to show them how unhealthy this place is, to wake them up to their greater value.

Nearly 40 percent of this nation is in an abusive relationship with this President and they are the only ones who cannot see it.

He has complete contempt for them and yet they passionately defend him. They cut ties with those who attempt to reach them with the evidence of his betrayal. Though they are being daily devalued and damaged, they cannot see it through the intoxicating romantic haze of their Fox News, Evangelical, Great America back stories. They see those of us who oppose him as the enemy, when the truth is we care far more about them than he ever will—which is why we have to show up in November and help them see what they cannot right now.

This election is the chance for the sixty percent of us to rescue these people from this bitter codependence; to vote them into a safer and more stable place; to show them what it could be like if they were led by someone who actually cares for their well being, who actually works to strengthen the bonds between them and the people around them, who will not subject them to a continual toxic flood of intimidation in order to keep them close and retain their affections. 

Whenever someone finds their way out of an abusive relationship, you watch them blossom: you see them embrace the wide-open life that has always been waiting for them, and they get to see themselves and the world with new eyes. Like a mighty Phoenix rising from the suffocating ashes of something that was far less than they deserved, their spirits are reborn—and they wonder how they ever let themselves be treated as anything less than beautiful. They find real freedom.

I so want these people around me to experience this, for them and for the America that I share with them. We all deserve far better than the oppressive, violent, fractured place we now live in, and until they see that we’re stuck here.

The best of who we could be as a nation is not possible while they are tethered to something so destructive and injurious, and the greatest gift we can give them is to save them from themselves.

That’s what’s at stake in this election: everything.

I agree with so much in this piece...as I almost always agree with everything he writes. His columns speak for me so often - and I'm sure for many others.

I really want him to be my best friend!

 I would love to read your comment about the essay, if you have one. However, stand forewarned, though I have no issue with differing opinions, I will just delete anything that is abusive or ugly.

Now, go make something beautiful!

¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*´¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´) Tristan

John Pavlovitz is a writer, pastor, and activist from Wake Forest, North Carolina. In the past four years his blog Stuff That Needs To Be Said has reached a diverse worldwide audience. A 20-year veteran in the trenches of local church ministry, John is committed to equality, diversity, and justice—both inside and outside faith communities. In 2017 he released his first book, A Bigger Table. His new book, Hope and Other Superpowers, arrived on November 6th.

Press

Chicago Tribune
Anti-Trump pastor John Pavlovitz doesn’t want thoughts and prayers; he wants hope and action

Billings Gazette
Former megachurch pastor visits Billings, makes appeal for more kindness amid disagreements

Chicago Tribune
Just in time for Thanksgiving, instructions on building a bigger, more inclusive table

Indy Week
How Raleigh’s John Pavlovitz Went from Fired Megachurch Pastor to Rising Star of the Religious Left

Religion News Service
John Pavlovitz, digital pastor of the resistance, pitches a bigger Christian tent

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Birds of a Glorious (Pink) Feather ...

As I was surfing and browing around the internet, I stumbled upon this image of a bird family that intrigued me. The vibrant shocking pink color of the feathers was the first thing that caught my attention, but then I noticed the unusual shaped beak, and that the male and female of this species looked remarkably similar (unusual for 'show-y' birds!), not forgetting that the beaks on the babies were obviously going to grow into that strange platypus-shape - but start out more like little duck beaks. I did a little searching and discovered that this is the Roseate Spoonbill from South America.

 

Well, of course I realized how fun it would be for a Pink Saturday post to search out other pink and fabulous birds, both exotic and domestic. And, to my surprise, there were no small supply of them! From parrots and pigeons (yes! pigeons!), to canaries, a rare cardinal species, not to mention the gorgeous Flaring Pink Gorget!

 

I've assembled a Pink Saturday dozen for you to enjoy! I hope you find them as enchanting and almost magical as I do!

 

 

... and of course, I couldn't complete the dozen without a photo of stunning pink flamingo!

 

As always, thanks to Beverly for hosting Pink Saturday blog hop - be sure to check out the other offerings at the link here.

... now go and make something beautiful!
¨)
¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*´¨)
(¸.•´ (¸.•´) Tristan

 ... and just one little addition - with the dozens of books read during the shelter-in-place order for the pandemic, I have just read my absolute favorite book of the year.

 

Becoming Duchess Goldblatt...A Memoir by Anonymous 

 

My Goodreads review of Becoming Duchess Goldblatt:

 

I opened this book with no expectations. As I am a fairly fast reader, I was halfway through it when I realized: whoa! This is something special. Something not to be glossed over. This is something to be savored. So I started over, and read slowly, relishing every delicious word combination and whimsical improbable possibility.

I only wish I had discovered Duchess long before the book was written and I was made aware of her. She is a magical, enchanting, and devilishly clever wordsmith who has the ability to envelope her reader in genuine love and compassion and the care that would come if the reader were one instead of one of thousands.

I can't even begin to say what this book is. It's not a novel. It's not a biography. It's not a roman à clef. It's not a book of humor. It's not a self-help book. It's not a celebrity expose. It's not the story of survival and emotional courage. However, it's all of those things.

If treasures like "Sometimes I tie your words in linen with a little lavender and mint and use them as a poultice for my weary old heart" and "If you find yourself feeling embittered, roll around in a barrel of kosher salt until encrusted, and then set yourself in a collander to drain" or "A lot of people go very Martha Graham when dancing on their enemies' graves. Me, I like flamenco. I want the souls of the dead to feel it" excite and thrill you and make you smile, rush out and get this book!

It's less than 200 pages...you can easily read it twice in once sitting. And, when you read it, you will want to read it again!